My Story

Sometimes I get asked why I coach in the way that I do. To best understand that let me share my story with you:

Twenty-five years ago I was the pastor of an inner city church and teaching school. I had a wife and four small kids. Over time I became the neighborhood pastor. The neighborhood was elderly and dying off. As the neighborhood pastor I was called on to do the funerals. Over the years the funerals increased in number until it reached more than 2 a week. In a span of less than 10 years I had done more than 500 funerals. The emotional toil it was taking on me was enormous.

Some thing had to give. So I left the church and moved half way across the country to Wyoming. During the next few years I was able to accomplish a failed marriage, failed partnership, failed business, and failing health. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. But I knew better!

The battle back wasn’t going to be easy. I had tremendous debt. I had a poor self-image. I felt I had failed God. (You want to have a load of guilt, have that one hanging over your head.) Where was I going to go from here? There really isn’t anywhere to go but up. I refused to stay in the “feel sorry for yourself” crowd. I had to get out. I knew this was what I was made for. I taught for years that man was made for greatness – “but as for me…”

My environment was bad – I would change that. My thinking was bad – I would change that. My outlook was bad – I would change that. If my situation was to improve I would need to make some changes – permanent changes. It wasn’t that I had to learn things all over again. I knew the right things, I had taught the right things for years. But when the emotional crash came in 1993, I lost it all! The road back was to be long and arduous. I had been digging a hole for nearly 6 years. It was time for a permanent change.

The first thing I had to do was get my fellowship with God in the right place. When you feel like you have failed God that is a tough place to start. I felt guilty. I had to deal with that. Was God holding me guilty? No!!! I told God that I was sure He was finished with me. He told me that only He had the right to make that decision. I argued. He waited…patiently. I paced in the bedroom. My wife heard me talking and ask what was going on. I told her that I was arguing with God about my worth. She said the most important words I had heard to date, “Let me know how that one turns out.” That ended it. I saw the absurdity of my argument. Who was I to disagree with the One who created me?

Next, I had to face the people I knew before the crash. They needed an answer as to what had happened to me. That was not going to be easy either. They weren’t as perfect as God is perfect. They could be offended by my fall. They could point fingers. They could find my faults. You know the ones that even God can’t see. But they didn’t.  One by one they embraced me. They didn’t need answers they needed me. They looked beyond the past and talked about the future. What would I do next? How could they help? What would I need? Were my plans big enough?

Things were going to change. I wasn’t rejected as I had expected. God still loved me. My friends still loved me. I could change. I knew I could! But it was going to take a while. This battle went on for three years. I had to change my thinking. I had to take charge of my thoughts. They weren’t in a good place. There was no real good reason for that either. God still loved me. My people still loved me. My family still loved me. My kids still loved me. My wife still loved me. But I still wasn’t loving me.

My problems hadn’t gone away. I still owed more money than I could pay. I still had relationships that needed mending. I still had guilt that would plague me when no one was around. The self-talk was killing me. Something had to change!

Then I took control of the only thing that any man can control – my thoughts. I changed the way I was thinking. I got rid of the things that captured my thoughts. I stopped watching the news. I stop listening to talk radio. I began to listen to things that would lift me up, not remind me of how awful things are. I focused on changing my thinking by changing my environment. I changed my attitude by changing my physiology. I began to read as never before. I always liked to read, but this was different. I could read two pages and see a drastic change in my being. This was becoming fun. I came home one day from a trip (I had taken a job as a sales rep covering the eastern part of the United States) and announced to my wife that I was a new man. At that point the only real change had taken place was in my mind. Things were going to be different. I was going to see things differently. I was going to respond to things differently. I was going to behave differently. My thoughts were now captive, I was in control for the first time in years.

My journey back began with the decision to think different. I had to create a personal  affirmation that would permanently change me, not change who I was, but how I was responding to stuff. Who we are is our contribution to the world. How we respond can take away from the value of that contribution and render it useless. I always knew what to do. I had taught these principles myself. I had practiced them for years before the crash. Just before my trip that lead me to announce to my wife that I was a new man, I heard a song that would change me forever. The line in this song hit me like a truck; “The truth that burns within you like a bed of fiery coals, contains the POWER to liberate a thousand captive souls, but if the truth will ever set you free depends on you, you want to, now will you…” I ‘m now taking action on the truth I had all along. Not only has that truth set me free, but it is freeing others as I go.

Power coaching is the outcome of that journey. Won’t you join me?